I've been writing more,y'all. What keeps me believing in the possibilities and lessons of BDSM is that it gives us a place to practice.

It gives us space to practice how we relate to power; how we relate to consent, refusal, surrender, care, accountability, and yes, desire.

I believe that the things we say we believe in have to live in our actions as much as in our words; they have to be felt, tested, negotiated, and returned to again and again. The intimate dance between a Dominant and submissive and that between a freedom-dreamer and their politic are similar--both ask you to be in right relationship with power.

Both require honesty about what you want and what you’re willing to hold. Both ask you to name your boundaries and to respect the boundaries of others. Both will expose the gap between what you say and what you practice.

And neither can be sustained on intention alone.

That’s what I write about on Substack.

My musings move through BDSM, Black feminism, pleasure, power, relationships, community, harm, repair, and the questions I’m still chewing on in real time.

Sometimes it will be an essay. Sometimes it will be a reflection. Sometimes it’s me trying to name the thing under the thing.

All the time it will be an invitation to take power, pleasure, and practice seriously.

I know I'm not the only one thinking about all of this, and I look forward to seeing your comments, hearing your thoughts, critiques and questions.